If you are in on the Doc Platinum mythos, my userpic is self-explanatory. If you are not, do read on:

Doc Platinum was a very high-concept band for whom I was the drummer, on and off, from 1997 onwards [depending on whose accounts you're reading]. High-concept, in that we were international superstars before we could carry a tune. I know this happens with all garage bands, but keep in mind that all garage bands don't usually write their own fanfiction.

By consensus our #1 hit song was 'Chuckwagon,' and by that I mean, the only one anyone outside the band could listen to more than once. Chuckwagon was one of the very few songs that I wrote. I came up with this real ballsy guitar riff in Precalculus class one day but the only lyric I could make fit was the word 'chuckwagon,' and I think we all know where this is going so I'll just get on with the lyrics. We have a few recordings of it so posting an mp3 of it sometime in the future not entirely out of the question.

Chuckwagon
don't bogart these licks 'cause it's (c) 1997 Doc Platinum, beeyotch

['Jow' refers to the guitar. I am a drummer and am thus unconcerned with all your fancy 'chords.' Besides, getting the chords right is less important than the attitude with which you play the song - emote 'Richie Sambora joins the Scorpions.']

Verse 1
Jow jow jow jowww...
Jow ja jow - chuckwagon!
Jow ja jow - chuckwagon!
Jow ja jow - chuckwagon!
Jow ja jow - aaaaaahhh!

Bridge
Chuuuuuuckwaaaaaagoooooon - aaaaaahhh!
Chuuuuuuckwaaaaaagoooooon - aaaaaahhh!

Verse 2
[Continues in 4:4, but the backing vocals are in 3:4. Why not?]
Chuckwagon yeah! [Chuckwagonchuckwagonchuckwagonchuckwagon!]
Chuckwagon yeah! [Chuckwagonchuckwagonchuckwagonchuckwagon!]
Chuckwagon yeah! [Chuckwagonchuckwagonchuckwagonchuckwagon!]
Chuckwagon yeah! [Chuckwagonchuckwagonchuckwagonchuckwagon!]

[Then some damn fool* goes:] Everybody solo! [and everybody solos together, yet apart.]

[And then some damn fool** goes:] Second verse! Same as the first!

[Repeat ad nauseam. The song ends abruptly when some Philistine neighbors call the cops.]

- Z

_______________

• That would be me.
  
• That would be me, again.